Talenyn (siriusgriffon) wrote in ff_scribbles,

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The Greatest Weapon Ever...

Another fanfic, because it had to be wriiten one of these days...

Title: The Greatest Weapon Ever
Author: Griff
Rating: PG13 (For Cid of course)
Characters: Cid, Yuffie, Red, Cloud, Tifa, Vincent
Summary: When a mess gets made its time to put what Yuffie found to use! But who gets the honor...

The Greatest Weapon Ever

By Griff

Nobody was sure who had caused the mess, but everyone in the party had heard it. All of the warrior’s gazes went towards the origin of the sound… only to find their pilot, Cid, and their leader, Cloud, right in the middle of it. Cid was swearing under his breath while he started to walk away from it, while Cloud just shrugged and was walking on as if nothing had ever happened.

“Aren’t one of you two going to clean that up?” Tifa, their party’s fistfighter and barmaid asked, adopting a stern tone as though she was talking down to a pair of unruly kids.

“What the Hell for?” Cid asked. “We’re in a goddamn abandoned temple for Bahamut’s sake! Its like weeding a fuckin’ cemetery!”

“What if the Turks are following us Highwind?” Tifa retorted. “We would just be leaving them a trail!”

“She’s got a point there,” Nanaki, the feline warrior commented, giving the pilot a wry smile. “And besides, abandoned or not, this IS holy ground you know…”

“Red,” Cid said, using the name he had learned for Nanaki first, “Stay the Hell out of it!” The pilot turned towards Tifa again, shaking his head as he ran a leather gloved hand through his short blond hair. “Besides its not like I made the damn mess- Cloud did!” Cloud stopped in his tracks, and raised a brow.

“Excuse me Highwind? Aren’t you the one with that high, clumsy gait of yours? Your knocked it over with your own knees.”

“The Hell I did!” Cid yelled back. “It was your damn gravity defyin’ hair that,”

“BOYS!” Tifa yelled out… yelling out loud enough to where everyone in the party just blinked at her. And in a place like the Temple of the Ancients it echoed, KEEPING their attention. “That’s better,” she added, giving a satisfied nod. “Now then, we’re all grown adults here…”

“I’m not!” Yuffie piped in, before going back to trying to reach into Cloud’s back pocket.

“Okay, almost all adults here,” Tifa amended, rolling her eyes. “I am sure we can settle this in a reasonable matter!” Cid rolled his eyes, as he took another puff at the always present cigarette in his mouth.

“So what the Hell are we goin’ to do? Rock paper scissors?” he asked, his rough tone loaded with sarcasm. Tifa replied with a wide grin.

“That’s a great idea Highwind!”

“Shit! I was only…”

“Not buts Highwind! Now go on you two… play!” Cid and Cloud just looked at each other a moment, and finally an exasperated look came to each of their faces of defeat. One…(thunk)…two…(thunk)….three… (thunk)…

“CRAP!” Cid yelled, as Cloud’s rock soundly defeated his paper. Cloud just shrugged, and started to walk off with the others.

“Have fun Highwind!” Nanaki added, a slight, amused grin still on his snout as he followed, fiery tail waving behind. Meanwhile Yuffie popped up behind Cid and wrapped one arm around his neck, while the other produced a mop.

“And look what I found!” she said, eyes bright with mischief. “It has your name written aaaaaaall over it!” Cid glared up at her and was about to swat her away but Yuffie just jumped off giggling.

“I’m going to kick your ASS Yuffie!” Cid yelled, about to run after her when Tifa came in between.

“After you clean the mess up Cid,” she replied, before giving Yuffie a ‘Come on!’ wave. “Let’s go catch up with the others Yuffie!”

“Don’t have to tell me twice!” the young ninja replied, giving Cid a wide berth as she joined Tifa’s side.

“On and one more thing…” Tifa added, looking back over her shoulder at Cid.

“What the fuck is it now?” Cid growled, as he set aside his spear, the Venus Gospel, so he could get to work. Tifa gave a wink to Yuffie, who winked back.

“Have fuuuuuun!” the both yelled in unison, before running off to join the others.

“Fuck off,” Cid replied crossly, before setting to work at the task at hand. It wasn’t too long however before he realized he wasn’t alone… he was surrounded by monsters! “Damn it!” he yelled, glancing over towards his Venus Gospel only to find it surrounded by monsters. All he had to use was… the mop.

“Time to put your ass to good work finally!” Cid told it as a monster lunged for his throat…

Minutes later, after hearing the commotion, the rest of the party arrived. Cid stood, grinning, over a mound of defeated monsters. “Woah Highwind… that’s so cool!” Yuffie exclaimed.

“Yeah, I know,” Cid replied. “I really kicked their…”

“Not you old man,” Yuffie amended, rolling her eyes. “The mop! It really cleaned up that mess!”


“Yeah! Tifa said. “I thought that mess would never come up!”


“Its Highwind’s new weapon… of mess destruction,” Nanaki commented wryly.

“Yeah, it’s the greatest weapon ever!” Yuffie chimed in, giggling.

“Goddamn fuckin’ mop…”

“Aaaaaaw, I think he likes it!” she said, before starting to run away.

“I’m going to wipe the floor with YOU Yuffie!” Cid yelled, chasing after. Meanwhile Vincent, their party’s marksman and resident lurker, shook his head.

“I’m surrounded by idiots…”
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